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13 March 2012 @ 10:58 am
Even In My Dreams  
Title: Even In My Dreams
Chapters: 1/8
Band: Alice Nine
Pairing: Shou x Hiroto (One-Sided), Tora x Hiroto (mentioned)
Rating: PG
Warning: Angst
Summary: Do you really not see me?
Author Notes: Hmm I suppose this is what happens when I listen to sad music and try to write. This is going to be a series of stories based on dealing with losing someone you love or not being able to confess to someone. It'll probably be a crappy series but I need some sort of way to inwardly rant my feelings.

Will never be able to approach that place
Because I am like an idiot

A tall blond man sat, legs crossed loosely, as he leaned against the window frame, glancing out the window. A sigh passed by his lips, as he kept his eyes fixed upon the clouds that were floating along carelessly in the sky. if he wasn't against the thought of smoking, he was almost sure he'd have taken it up. However, he thought better of it. Instead he'd resorted to simply tearing sheets of paper up whenever he found himself thinking of the other. In fact the person in question was sitting right across the way, on a nearby couch, fiddling with his phone. His chest was feeling tight, full of feelings that went un-noticed anymore. He had to focus on vocals though, for the sake of the band, he had make it seem as if nothing was wrong. However, he knew their drummer was picking up on his dampening mood. Probably because it only seemed to get worse over time.

"Shou-kun." the voice was soft, and caring. The man didn't move but simply continued to stare out the window. "Shou-kun" the voice said again, a hand gently coming down upon his shoulder now. He turned his head to face the person the hand belonged to. No surprise, it was their drummer, Nao. His eyes shone with sadness as he stared at Shou. Silence fell between them as Nao struggled to find words of comfort to say to the other man. The drummer found himself opening his mouth, then shutting it again. There was really nothing Nao could find to say to make Shou feel better. I mean how do you comfort someone who couldn't even tell someone they loved them. And now that person was with someone else. "Shou-yan" the drummer tried adding a different ending on the man's name to get him to say something. It seemed to work, but he wasn't completely prepared for what the vocalist said. He had expected Shou to say something along the lines like 'Stop worrying about me Nao-san, I'll be okay' then flash him a smile, even if the smile was extremely strained and forced. But no, Nao didn't expect what Shou said.

"Is he happy with Tora?" Shou asked bluntly, eyes refocusing intensely on the clouds outside the window. 

"Eh?" Nao said, caught slightly off guard by Shou's question, when he was so used to the other constantly telling him he was okay.

"Hiroto. Is he happy?" the vocalist added. He shifted slightly, finally taking his eyes from the sky again. His eyes held sadness when he looked at Nao. Shou hung his head and stared at the floor. He could hear the others laughing in the background, while he sat here moping like a small child who just had their toy taken from them for the rest of their lives. It just hurt so much. Nao at this point, felt his heart ache for Shou. Here he was caught at how to help his friend who was in obvious pain, while still trying keep everyone happy in the band. The drummer took his eyes off Shou for a moment to scan the room to where Hiroto sat on the couch, and his lover, their other guitarist Tora, who was laughing with their bassist, Saga. Nao saw that every now and again, Tora would turn to ask Hiroto something, therefore including him in his and Saga's conversations for a few moments. They'd laugh for a few minutes then Tora would return full attention to Saga while Hiroto happily played on his phone.

Finally he turned back to Shou, who was still staring at the ground. The drummer blinked but he swore he saw tears fall from Shou's down turned head, falling silently down onto his black shoes. Frowning Nao looked back at Tora again. He was at smaller guitarist's side now, sitting next to him, looking over his shoulder at whatever it was Hiroto happened to be doing on his phone at that second. Again, the drummer turned back to Shou. He was met with Shou's crying face now. Tears falling from down his face as he sniffled, bringing one hand up to rub his eyes, trying to free them of the tears. "Nao-san..." Shou sniffled again, crying harder now, so much so that it attracted the attention of their other band members. "Is he happy?" Feeling tears prickling at the corner of his own eyes, Nao took Shou in his arms. It was all he could do to comfort his hurting friend.

"I think he is happy Shou-san." Nao replied in a choked voice, feeling his own sanity on verge of breaking. 

"That's good right then?" Shou sobbed, clinging to Nao as he tried not to let the flood gate open on all emotions he was feeling. Clearly this was too late though as he only sobbed harder into the drummer's shoulder, half hunched over. Nao patted the vocalist's back as he took a glance at Hiroto and Tora, a frown on his face. "I'm happy he's happy. Even if it hurts me." the vocalist hiccuped between sentences. "At least he's happy." the last part came out in a whisper which Nao found himself straining to hear.

I'll look forward to your change of heart
When you'll look at me with a smile
Even in my dreams

Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: Even in my Dreams | G.O. feat Mir
.゚。*・★俺樣★・*。゚.sciencesaves on March 13th, 2012 06:12 pm (UTC)
"That's good right then?"

This line killlls me! Ah, the uncertainty, the obvious sadness.
Thank you for this! xoxo
つよいるい 「花」: I love you <3cafekkokure on March 13th, 2012 06:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading ! xoxo It means a lot to me <3
Shinohara Ranka: ShouPonyousei_ranka on February 21st, 2015 12:33 am (UTC)
"At least he's happy."

right on my kokorooooo, depressing ;_;)
つよいるい 「花」cafekkokure on March 9th, 2015 02:54 am (UTC)
Ahhh yeah it is sad ; ;

Thanks for commenting !